The year of me

When I was 12 my mom was admitted to the hospital. Diagnosis -- exhaustion. At 29 I'm already starting to see signs of how much I'm like my mother. I like to please people and make things easier for them. It's what makes me great at my job, but also what is leading me down the path my mother forged before me. While most people have a grey area between wants and needs, I have a line in the sand, and everything can be placed on one side or the other. Because of this, everyone else seems to have so many needs that my very few shortly loose their priority, but not their importance. I'll still get to them, but they'll have to wait. It's easy to dismiss your priorities when they're pushing you into an area of challenge. "Oh I can't make it to the gym today because I had to stay late to help the boss, and the dogs need to be let out of their crates." "No, I didn't get a chance to study my photography book because the laundry and dishes needed to be done."

I see it happening more and more and am feeling the drain already. I still enjoy doing all these things for people to help them out, but find that the I either forget to etch out some time for just me or actually manage keep to it. As much as I love my husband and spending time with him is a truly relaxing end to the day, it's still not me time. It's still not me focusing on what I want to do and how to do it. It's still not making them wait for what they "need" so that I can get a little of what I want.

On that note, I'm declaring this the year of me. I know this mindset won't come any easier once children are involved so I need to learn the discipline and set the standard now. It's important that I learn to do this. Both for the balance of my marriage, and the future example I hope to set for my children. And surprisingly, the more I type, the more this sounds like the year of them. What can I say. I'm not going to stop doing something solely for me just because it throws a positive out to the ones I love. That's just bonus.